Photo Shoot

Yesterday I worked a 13 hours shift, so no running for me.  Interesting tidbit though, one of my co-workers has a pedometer she carries at work.  Apparently we walk about 6 miles on an average day.  Doesn't surprise me one bit!  We run around there like crazy, often skipping lunch or taking it 8 hours into the day.  Good grief.  Now don't misunderstand me, I LOVE being a nurse, and very thankful that they allow me to keep up with my license, only working one day a week.  Such a blessing.

Work was emotional for me yesterday.  One of my patients, an elderly woman who I care for in the beginning of my shift, had a special impact on me.  She later that day, transferred to a skilled nursing facility for rehab.  She was not much for participating in her therapy, and had that kind of "I'm done with all of this" attitude that I see often with the elderly going through so much physically.  I tried to get her to open up a bit.  We started talking about where she was from and her life.  I showed her pictures of Annabelle and Joey.  She mentioned that her husband died 8 years ago after 54 years of marriage.  "He was an amazing man.  We loved each other."  She went on to say that one of her daughter's died around the same time of her husband's passing.  I cried inside, held back the tears.  I can not imagine getting to that point in my life.  I hurt for her apparent loneliness.  She left that afternoon to go to rehab.  After her room was cleaned, I received a new patient, a 44 year old man with a brain astrocytoma.  Without getting into all the details, he was admitted for pain control and then a transfer to hospice the next day for end of life care.  Case management and the ED physicians had a very difficult conversation with him and the family.  There was nothing more they could do for him.  Choices, hard choices had to be made.  44 years old!  Michael is 43.  It did not really settle in my heart, how this was affecting me, until I walked into his room a little later after he had been admitted to the floor, to find his wife standing over his bed, watching him sleep, with tears in her eyes.  She looked up at me, and though she didn't say a word, her eyes said everything.  I backed out of the room.  I got home that night, shared my day with Michael and cried.  How can I live my life surrounded by blessing when so many suffer?  I could not process it.  

I usually listen to "Walk in the Word" podcasts when I run.  Today the message was on Psalm 23 and not fearing evil.  God never wants us to fear.  There is a time for grief, doubt, even anger, but never fear.  "Yay, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.  For YOU are with me."  God is with us!  We should not fear death or anything else for that matter, when we rest in our faith in His goodness.  While I love my family, my hobbies, friends, etc. nothing, absolutely NOTHING compares to our time with HIM.  If I forget that, my priorities are not in order.  Seeing the grief and suffering of others reminds me, that we are NOT home yet.

Some of the goodness from my Heavenly Father I see everyday.  I am thankful for my many many blessings.  God help me not to forget what is important.

We got all of our pictures from our family photo shoot we had done a few weeks ago.  Here are some of my favorites:

I think they turned out pretty well!  Super cheap, too!  Would have cost about the same to go to Target! Plus, we have the rights to all the photos on a disc!  We will use her again!