I'm having one of those days. Feeling a little down about myself. Wondering, if I'm really OK. What I mean, is, I get these times where I feel like something is wrong with me. Something that will never be completely right. I know that to be myself is a good thing. But, sometimes I feel like I try too hard. It's always a struggle between insecurity and pride. One extreme or the other, I think. Honestly, I truly want to put others first or honor others before myself. When I am insecure, I am not doing this, because I am analyzing how others view me rather than thinking of how to bless and serve them. And, I don't have to explain how a prideful attitude does not honor ANYONE. No, I think to truly honor someone else above me, means that I am not thinking much about myself at all. This doesn't mean that I don't think much OF myself, just not ABOUT myself. I have been thinking a lot this week about a quote from C.S. Lewis, "To be free from myself for just one moment, is like a cool drink of water in a hot desert." YES! That is how I feel inside. I love those fleeting moments, when I am fully alive, enjoying others, God's creation, joy, laughter, being me without "myself" interrupting. "The Glory of God is man fully alive." Ironic that in order to be "fully alive" I must be past my own self to enjoy and glorify God.
Yes, I feel a need for a good cold drink of water right now.
1 comment:
This is nice. A great quote and I appreciate your thoughts accompanying. I think CS Lewis also said,"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." :o)
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