Friday, June 20, 2014

Run THIS Race: My First Marathon

I finally talked myself into running a marathon!  I have been going back and forth with this notion for the last few years, and I finally feel ready physically AND most importantly mentally.   I think it is funny that I am came to this decision as the last few months I have really tried to stop obsessing so much about running and races and running blogs.  I was eating, sleeping, living on running.  I felt distracted when I was with my kids and husband.  I felt really convicted about it, so I stopped reading running blogs or anything at all related to running.  I stayed off the internet and social media sites.  I even gave up TV for a week to just allow God to refocus my mind.  AND He did.   He is so good like that.  Running is a gift from Him, but nothing should be put before Him or my family.  It's amazing how easily we can lose sight of that.

So, how did I come to the conclusion to run a marathon?  Really, it was from a patient of mine.  A 53 year old male who I had the privilege to care for last month.  He was diagnosed with advanced paratid cancer with mets to the spine.  I took care of him and transferred him to rehab with the intention of hospice.  I remember asking him about his family, if he had grandchildren and he looked at me and said, "That is why I have to fight this, so I can see them some day."  He had 3 girls all under the age of 21.  Last Wednesday, when I got to work, I saw that he was back in the hospital and on my patient list.  It was not looking good.  The doctor had told him he had hours left, maybe days.  When I went into his room, he was alert, talking on his cell phone and asking questions about his care.  Within hours, he was non-responsive.  The family was brought in.  His daughters were by his side in tears.  He woke up for a few moments and responded to them.  "Daddy, can you hear us?"  "Daddy we love you so much."  He acknowledged them.  I started a morphine drip to ease his breathing.  Within a few more hours, he was gone.  I walked out of his room to officially tell the family of his passing, and everyone just broke down weeping.  We were all heartbroken.  I have never seen someone go that fast.  It made me think about how SHORT our time on this earth really is.  I got home that night, and cried.

Over the next few days, I thought more and more about my life.  I feel like I am always looking ahead and maybe missing out on the NOW.  I want to be 100% with my kids.  I want to 100% with my husband.  With running I want to be 100% but at the right time.  I just felt like marathon time is now or never.  I have wanted to do this for a long time.  My husband and I talked about it, and I am registered to run the Denver Rock and Roll Marathon.  I officially start training in 1 week.  I am using the Run Less Run Faster Boston Qualifying training plan.  Do I really expect to qualify for Boston my first marathon?  I don't know, but I am going to try and do my best.  THAT is what matters more than my race time.  I am using this training plan, because it seems more manageable with my family.

This race is so much more than 26.2 miles.  It is a mini reflection of running the race of life.  Every moment is a gift from our Heavenly Father, even the most challenging and difficult ones.  I am learning and striving to be present in each and every one of them.


Jen Floyd said...

This post made me cry and is so spot in so many ways!!! I have had several times in my life when my priorities got out of whack and it is just so easy to let it happen! Things can just get busy and we let busyness and less important things take over. I really appreciate this post. I have been trying to refocus daily to help me with my priorities (but even that doesn't always work :)). One thing I try to do is schedule a certain time for things...for instance..from 7:30-8 I can read blogs but then at 8 I need to stop, that way I don't end up spending too much time with it. I am SO excited for your marathon! My next on is in November :)!

Kristy Homan said...

Thanks, Jen! I really appreciate your comment. I love reading your blog, because I love seeing the balance in your life. You inspire me and I feel encouraged from one sister in Christ to another. It's always a struggle to keep Christ at the center. But I am so thankful that He does not give up on us. I am excited for your marathon, too! :)

Amanda MacB said...

This made ME cry (AND encouraged me) and I'm not a runner. "I feel like I am always looking ahead and maybe missing out on the NOW." That sums up a lot of how I have been feeling. Trying to remember I have been given THIS day.

Kristy Homan said...

Thanks, Amanda! It's nice to know I am not the only one who struggles with this. Missing you, friend. :)

Gra8ful*Mom said...

Amen to all of it. This sentiment was illustrated to me in a worship song just today: "Lord be the fire inside of me" what if everything we did, parenting, working, RUNNING, was fueled 100% by the fire of the Holy Spirit of God?? What potential!! Proud to be called your friend, Kristy.