Summer is coming to an end...

We usually go to the pool every Wednesday.  It is the end of August, and close to 100 degrees!!!  Not much to do outside other than swim.  So, we were all very disappointed to realized that all the pools close when kids go back to school (mid August).  I understand, but when I was a kid, I guess that was labor day weekend.  Well, we were able to make the best of it, and took a day trip to Cherry Creek Beach.  Annabelle, got her first real experience of a sandy beach, since she was a baby.  Turned out to be a great day!!!

For Aunt Sarah

Summer 2012 is coming to an end.  I haven't updated my blog in forever, and I am notoriously inconsistent with it.  Well, notorious as far as I am concerned.  Really, I don't think anyone looks at it, except myself, my hubby - when I make him - and my sister-in-law, Sarah.  So, why the post?  Well, it really is for Sarah!  She is my very consistent sister, who does update her blog, and who does remember EVERYONE'S birthday (including 6 month birthdays), and is an amazing time manager!  Yes, we are different, but I hope she knows that I appreciate her, and the things she remembers, and just because that part of my brain was never activated, doesn't mean her kindness goes unnoticed.  So, my dear sister, here are some pictures from our Summer!  I hope that we get to meet your little Wes and see Addy soon!  I love you, and I wish we could share some of these moments together.

First Swim!

 Zoo Fun!

 Movie Night

Momma's first shopping trip with both kids! 

Fun at the park!

This is what happens when Daddy babysits!

 Pool day (Annabelle's favorite)

 Nap time!

"Who you lookin' at?"

Fishers of Men

Luke 5:4-5 "And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." And Simon answered, "Master, we have toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets."

It's been a long morning. One of those frightful days that I have dreaded experiencing as a Mom. Remember the "single" days and seeing those screaming children with their forlorn parents at the store? Remember thinking to yourself, "that won't be me, my kids will never act like that?" Remember the days before giving birth to your first child and the COUNTLESS websites, books, and friendly advice considered over how to be the best parent? The goal - the perfect family environment, children sleeping through the night, obedient, in love with their veggies and always choosing a book over a TV show. Yes, yes! That was my vision when watching those unruly children given to poor parenting. "Just got to try a little harder, read a little more "literature", get some control over your kids for goodness sakes!" And then, reality...

My 2 year old has been sick for a week with a nasty cold, which she lovingly passed on to me! Then yesterday, she decided to try balancing on a basketball and fell (of course) injuring her foot. The screams startled me and my 8 week old who I was finally, and I mean FINALLY, soothing to sleep. Both of my babies crying, well screaming, and for the 5th day in a row of this "unsuccessful parenting" I felt ready to cry myself and resolve myself to failure. We have watched more TV than I ever would admit to anyone, meals are more like grazing throughout the day and do I dare say, eaten on the couch! The upstairs bathroom has not been touched in weeks, and I could go on and on about the laundry! Yes, I finally am ready to call it quits, "pull in my nets" and be done!

The Holy Spirit though, has other plans for me. Today, I read about Peter and the "fishers of men" story in Luke. Peter had been out all night trying to get a catch, and was unsuccessful. I'm sure he tried everything. "Cast out on the right, let's try the left, now. Hmmm... well let's wait a little while and try again... maybe we should go earlier or later... I don't understand, I did everything "right" and I have nothing, no fish, no success, that's it! I give up! Pull in the nets, let's go home." Then after a long, trying night, Jesus tells Peter to go out again and cast his nets. I kind of understand how Peter felt when he said, "Master we toiled all night and took nothing!" I'm sure he was thinking, "I tried everything, did everything I could, and NOTHING!!" I'm sure he was feeling a bit defensive, like Jesus was questioning his ability! Peter's pride spoke for him when he said, ..."but at your word I will let down the nets." We all know the rest of the story, Peter catches so many fish that his nets begin to break, and in humility he falls before Jesus asking him to "get away from him as he is sinful man".

So, what does this have to do with me, a mother? Well, I suppose Peter wanted to be the very best fisherman. I'm sure he researched in every way, the best spots, techniques, approaches to fishing, and yet, he was struggling. Hmmm... that sounds a lot like me! I wonder if Peter would google as much about fishing as I do about mothering if he had access to the internet back then. I have often wanted to name myself a "perfect" mother and when things are out of my control and have a day to look back on with no "fish", I definitely feel like saying, "God I've tried everything, read everything, what do you mean, go and soothe that baby back to sleep AGAIN!" Peter wanted control and to see his success. I want the same!

When Jesus replied to Peter's humility, he said, "Do not be afraid, from now on you will be catching men.", I think he wanted to show Peter that success comes from the power of God, not from trying hard, and that his identity is not being a "fisherman" but glorifying God through doing His will. God gives us our abilities and to take pride in them is foolishness. Same with mothering. The goal is not to be the perfect mother, but to guide the hearts of my children to Christ! I am "fishing" for their salvation and to instill in them Love for the Lord and His will. While it is good to research parenting styles, and to "mother" well, it is God who works in me giving me His power to guide them. So, when I am read to call it a day, when I am out of control, when I feel like I am failing, I must remember those words, "Do not be afraid... you are catching the hearts of your children."

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!! We hope you are all looking forward to the holidays with family. Wanted to share a little of our year with you. Just click below:

http://www.kizoa.com/slideshow/d2112996k6272321o1/christmas

Love,

Michael, Kristy and Annabelle

Love

1John 4: 7-12

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."


God is love.

God extended His love to us, FIRST.

God is the ONLY one who can teach us to love...

We are all born not knowing how to love or what it is really and truly like. Yet, there is something deep within us that craves it. We see glimpses of it, inviting us, saying "YES" to us. Love always hopes, trusts and believes. To believe God is always saying "NO" is to not know God at all. It is to not know love. We must understand that in order to love, we must look to God's example, His arms open, saying "COME", saying "YES". If we really BELIEVE this, we will open our arms to others, saying "yes" to them.

The more we look to God, the more we see those open arms, the more we understand how amazing His love is in comparison to our complete misunderstanding of it, our utter lack of it. But we crave it, none the less. We all look for love, but there is only one place to find it, only One who gives it, and by this, the only way to live it.

Annabelle's First Year

I can't believe already more than a week has passed since my little Annabelle turned one! It's amazing how fast time moves away from us, leaving only moments to remember and hopefully, if we use it, technology to remind us of the ones forgotten. Even as I write this, I am thinking back on those first few weeks home with her, exhausted and wondering what a year's time would look like. I wondered how her personality would emerge, who's physical features she would more resemble (yes, yes... she looks like her DAD), if she would be walking or not, talking, eating big girl foods, breastfeeding or weaned, sleeping through the night, and I'm sure so very much more.

Honestly, I just can't believe it's here - ONE year! Those first months of being a Momma were challenging for me. It wasn't exactly as I pictured in my mind- multiple midnight feedings (no matter how cute the nursery looks, it doesn't make up for sleep); having only an hour or so to run errands or make a trip to the mall before taking that same amount of time to feed, change, and settle her for a nap; being the ONLY one she wanted when she cried; and the BREASTFEEDING, hurt, hurt, HURT! Definitely those are moments I will not ever forget. But what surprises me most, is that I really miss them! Most of those times, I will never have again with her. And some day, she will probably pick Dad over Mom, and then friends over both of us. I'm glad she is still breastfeeding, and I LOVE it now (doesn't hurt anymore)! I am thankful to still have those special times, just the two of us, a little longer.

Now that she is one, I have answers to most of those questions I had when she just a newborn. For sure, she has my personality! She loves people and pretty things, very easygoing, sensitive, gentle. As I mentioned before, she has Daddy's looks; although I see myself in her every once in a while. Not walking yet, but she could, I think. Her balance is fine, but she seems a little unsure of herself, always deciding crawling will be the safest and fastest option. This reminds me of myself as well. Hopefully, she won't have my lack of coordination when it comes to sports.

When I get her up in the morning, I am greeted with, "HI" and a wave. It is the cutest thing in the world, and I love that time of day the most. Her first word was "pretty" when she was looking at Christmas decorations at Home Goods. She says it all the time, but for some reason, she always whispers it. She also says Mommy, Daddy and Uh Oh. We are teaching her baby sign language and she can sign milk, all done, eat, more, night night, Momma and Daddy and "brush my teeth". It's amazing! I was kind of a skeptic at first, but wow!

While in Ohio for Christmas, she was introduced to a whole new world of foods! Hahaha... Michael's family sure knows how to eat, and now so does Annabelle. She smashed her face into her Coldstone Ice Cream Birthday Cake like she was in a "pie eating" contest and cried when I took it away from her. I think she would have eaten the entire cake! I guess I should have let her. She's a little low on her weight, about 5th percentile and 50th percentile for height. I think that will change soon; she is loving all those high calorie and high fat foods. She can have them, minus the sugar. :)

Life with a one year old is certainly different than with a newborn. There are always new challenges for children and parents at every life phase, so I have been told, so I am learning. These days, I have to have eyes like a hawk. She is fast and has gotten past the baby gate a few times and up the stairs. Her favorite thing to do is reorganize my kitchen towels under the sink. We have to constantly remember to close the bathroom doors, the pantry door, the laundry room door, and the bedroom doors when we are upstairs. I am always saying, "Annabelle, open your mouth," and doing a finger sweep to find crumbs, threads, leaves, a dead fly (that only happened once), no matter how many times I sweep and vacuum the floor. The days can get long sometimes, BUT... it's so worth it! This year has been so worth it. I am SO in love with my little girl. I never realized how much love a person could have for another. Michael and I both feel so blessed and could not have asked for a better little girl. She is our joy.

Mmmm... Pumpkin Pie!

With Grandma and Maddy

Play time with my cool cousins

"Not so sure about all of this."

"Well... I'll try it."

"Forget the fork!"

Happy First Year, Sweet Annabelle!

Humility

I have always wanted to have the character trait of humility in my life. Sadly, I often fall short. In my attempts to be humble, I am ultimately focusing on myself, trying to make myself better. Funny, that doesn't sound very humble to me at all. I think true humility is more about the state of an individual rather than the attempt of the individual. By "state" I don't mean "situation" either. Poor or rich can be humble, although the poor often seem to understand it better. By "state" I mean, the trait is part of the person, naturally! God calls us to be humble. But, it seems the more we try, the more self-focused we become. What does He mean then? How can humility be possible for anyone?

I have been reading a book with my quiet time, "It's Not about ME", by Max Lucado. Today I was reading particularly about God's Holiness. Lucado referenced Isaiah, a prophet in the old Testament, as he was encountering the Holiness of God. "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips and live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts." Isaiah 6:5 Lucado states that "the God-given vision is not about Isaiah but about God and his glory... he finds humility not be seeking it, but by seeking HIM." At this point I had what most call, an EPIPHANY! A revelation to my soul! Humility is not about me! It's about GOD. God is humble, perfect, holy. The only way for us to truly BE humble, is to look beyond ourselves to HIM. We will see the difference for sure, between our nature and His. But what truly makes this all work is that God "desires mercy, not sacrifice". He wants to extend mercy to us in our sinful state, while He is perfect. He does not want our attempts at perfection or humility or holiness. He knows we cannot do this on our own. The only way to BE holy, to BE perfect as He is perfect, to BE humble, is to look at Him and accept His mercy.

Once in a restaurant, I was carrying a really full glass of water to a table. I kept looking at the glass and walking ever so carefully as to not spill it, although I was spilling it little by little. A waiter told me to stop looking at the glass and to just look in the direction for whom it was intended. Amazingly, I walked much faster and was no longer spilling it at all. Forgive the cheesiness of the analogy, but when we look at God instead of constantly trying to better ourselves in our own strength, when we look in His direction, and give ourselves to Him, we naturally do better, we naturally become holy, we naturally become humble.

I hope to BE more humble this Christmas, but not by me, but by the very best Christmas gift, God, Immanuel.

2 Cor 3:18 "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."